Monday, February 13, 2017

Egg on my Face... Again

The fuck is that?! All over my face?
Oh shit, is that what I think it is?

Again?

Really?
Oh, for fuck's sake, Beth, really?

Look at you, you stupid twat! You'll never fucking learn, will you?
Egg on your face again.

All over your fucking face. Can barely see for all the damn egg.
Oh yes, I did it again.

I fell for the perfect man. All in, 100%.

Again.
Jesus fucking Christ, you moron!

Egg. All over my face.

Because, you see, after a couple utterly blissful days, he dumped me to go back to his ex.
Oh, no, it's not the first time. The conversation was nearly identical. "Beth, I talked to my ex today..."

"I have to give it a chance."

OH BULL FUCKING SHIT. No, you fucking don't. You broke up for a god damn reason, namely being that she CHEATED on you. Are you fucking kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I was warned... friends told me I was moving too fast but did I listen? Nooooooooooooo...

Because I never, ever learn. Because I am insanely, ridiculously ignorant.
This shit is not washing off.

I am clearly tainted. There is just something about me that makes women fucking cling to their exes. "Yes, I'm dumping you... I cheated. Fucked another guy, I did. Fucked him good. Lots of times. I am sooooo done with you! Oh, wait... what's that? You're seeing Beth Macbain? Huh... perhaps I was a bit rash. Let's give it another shot, baby. I'll be good t his time, I swear. I love you."

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, mother-fucker, tits.

I even asked! I did! "Are there any other women I need to worry about?" The answer? NOPE! He said "Nope!"

"Oh, you mean her? Oh yes, her... well, yes, I've got feelings for her. So you see, when I said 'nope', I really meant 'nope, except for my ex' but I thought you understand that."

Well guess what? I fucking didn't understand that because you didn't fucking say that.
So here I am, again, egg all over my damn face, looking like the utter jackass that I am. Alone again, of course. Because, fuck me, right? I thought he was sincere. I trusted him, god damn it. I gave him my trust, every single bit of it, in spite of the warnings, in spite of everything, I gave him my trust. 

I thought this was it. I thought this was the man who could hold his own against the ghost of Hugh.

I was wrong. Of course I was wrong. Because I'm stupid as hell. 

Hey, at least he didn't fuck me, right?

Happy Fucking Valentine's Day.

I quit.

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